Late Night Thoughts
Dear Students,
Recently I've been thinking a lot about how I write. As you know, I am taking classes at UCLA, and in these three months I will have written two 17-page papers. The first paper was my leadership story, and I'm proud to say that I got an A+ on it, although I think everyone else got an A or A+ too. The other is a research paper on charter schools, and my review buddies say its going well. But looking back in my life, writing has always been a very difficult process for me.
When I was in my first year of graduate school, I always worked with Sergio. He was a really nice person, and he was incredibly shy. Every time he had to make a presentation in front of the class, he would get nervous and start yawning. He would yawn like 5 times in 1 minute. I guess that was how his body dealt with stress. I thought it was the wierdest thing and I used to make fun of him for that. Recently, though, I noticed that I would do something similar when it came to writing. If I have a big paper due, I don't yawn (thank God!) but I get really sleepy. One minute I would be running around, full of energy, and the next minute I would be so sleepy I couldn't think straight. All because I had to write a paper.
I'm not sure why my body does that, but all I know is that I've had trouble with language since I was young. My mom said I didn't start talking until I was almost 3 years old. I still remember in 3rd grade when I couldn't read the word "obey," and my mom got so frustrated that she didn't let me eat dinner that night. I also remember the time in 10th grade when my English teacher posted the rankings in the class. I was at the very bottom. I went to my counselor asking to be transferred to an easier class, but she just smiled and said, "Give it some time." I'm not sure how she knew, but during that year I actually rose to the top of the class. To this day, I don't know how I did it except through hard work and long nights. And I think that's where this sleepiness thing started. It was so hard for me to write a paper that I had to nap or sleep as I wrote it.
The point here isn't that I get sleepy before I write. The point is that it's still hard for me to start writing even though I can do 17 page papers and get an A+. Sometimes, that baggage from the past hangs around. For me, the baggage is the fear of writing and it makes me want to escape by sleeping. Now, though, at least I know why I get sleepy before I write, so when it happens I know how to deal with it. It's like an alchoholic who doesn't think he has a problem. Once he realizes and admits that he has a problem, he can actually do something about it. In the end, he might not overcome his problem, but at least he can try to control it rather than letting the problem control him.
All right, it's almost 1:00AM. All of this writing is getting me sleepy. Good night.
-Hsu
Recently I've been thinking a lot about how I write. As you know, I am taking classes at UCLA, and in these three months I will have written two 17-page papers. The first paper was my leadership story, and I'm proud to say that I got an A+ on it, although I think everyone else got an A or A+ too. The other is a research paper on charter schools, and my review buddies say its going well. But looking back in my life, writing has always been a very difficult process for me.
When I was in my first year of graduate school, I always worked with Sergio. He was a really nice person, and he was incredibly shy. Every time he had to make a presentation in front of the class, he would get nervous and start yawning. He would yawn like 5 times in 1 minute. I guess that was how his body dealt with stress. I thought it was the wierdest thing and I used to make fun of him for that. Recently, though, I noticed that I would do something similar when it came to writing. If I have a big paper due, I don't yawn (thank God!) but I get really sleepy. One minute I would be running around, full of energy, and the next minute I would be so sleepy I couldn't think straight. All because I had to write a paper.
I'm not sure why my body does that, but all I know is that I've had trouble with language since I was young. My mom said I didn't start talking until I was almost 3 years old. I still remember in 3rd grade when I couldn't read the word "obey," and my mom got so frustrated that she didn't let me eat dinner that night. I also remember the time in 10th grade when my English teacher posted the rankings in the class. I was at the very bottom. I went to my counselor asking to be transferred to an easier class, but she just smiled and said, "Give it some time." I'm not sure how she knew, but during that year I actually rose to the top of the class. To this day, I don't know how I did it except through hard work and long nights. And I think that's where this sleepiness thing started. It was so hard for me to write a paper that I had to nap or sleep as I wrote it.
The point here isn't that I get sleepy before I write. The point is that it's still hard for me to start writing even though I can do 17 page papers and get an A+. Sometimes, that baggage from the past hangs around. For me, the baggage is the fear of writing and it makes me want to escape by sleeping. Now, though, at least I know why I get sleepy before I write, so when it happens I know how to deal with it. It's like an alchoholic who doesn't think he has a problem. Once he realizes and admits that he has a problem, he can actually do something about it. In the end, he might not overcome his problem, but at least he can try to control it rather than letting the problem control him.
All right, it's almost 1:00AM. All of this writing is getting me sleepy. Good night.
-Hsu
posted by P. Hsu at 8:57 AM
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